The Secret Wardrobe heart keys.

These keys fit but you don't really need them if you feel like taking a look inside the wardrobe.

And it's not at all like in the movie where the little girl goes in and steps out on a whole different world full of witches, bad spirits and snow.

Here, the doors slide and you find yourself facing a man made crypt that fits only people the size of your hand. If you push your whole arm inside the crypt, your fingers will soon touch a hairy ground. You'll straight away think it feels disgusting but that's only coz you won't be able to see the little place at all. Think of the hairy part as a patch of greenish fake grass. Work your fingers round the space until you find some kind of toy. You'll know it's a toy because it will have wheels and it will be made of plastic.

Pull it out carefully and dust it. If you haven't grown too old, try playing with it. If you can't figure out how to play with it, ask someone younger than you for directions of use. Don't phrase it this way though - ''Directions of use''. Phrase it differently, something like "Can you show me how to play with this toy?'' This way you won't scare kids off and they'll think you are their age, just a bit heavier and bigger in size, something like a giant human.

After you play with it for a while, sit down and take a breath. Did you have fun?

If you decide you had fun, go back to the wardrobe, put your arm through the crypt and repeat what you did before.

What's your next toy gonna be like, I wonder?
 

Patissia sign heart.

Random letters, coloured swears. Keep in mind that turning right is all you need on this fairly small street in the centre of Athens. And a last minute add: do it with love before another one goes weed picking.
 

 

Small boobies' heart.

Unidentified tit heart is looking for medium built body to fit in. Clay transforms into real flesh once the pasting is done.

Piece made by Boobie-Lover.

 

 

Big boobies' heart.

Mature woman, a confident loner for a while now.
Been through a lot, masters good tricks n quality play.
Never fakes pleasure, gives no damn for cash,
No prosthetic surgery, she's what she's got.
She likes to swear, she's eloquent.
Now, this whole package, is quite rare.

Piece made by Boobie-Lover. 

 

The cow heart.

Someone very close to me told me that on this drawing, I should have drawn the head heart the other way round with the tip of the heart being the start of the head. I think the cow would have been very dissappointed as its already autumn and she likes to look up.
 

 

The toilet floor heart.

Have you ever been to a toilet?

Have you ever been to a toilet with a star-flowery floor and a love-me note in it?

The eternal question still remains: Were they loved?
 

 

The 3 Dragon heart.

This heart was claimed by three powerful master dragons.

After years of conquering and escalating death numbers on the battlefields, the three sides came to a generous decision. The front line fighters of the three kingdoms were to be spared from the War of the Heart and sent to other trivial grounds. The back line troops were sent back to the interior grounds of the kingdoms. The aim was for the three master dragons to be left alone on this historically significant fight.  

On the day of the battle, the three of them started devouring the heart grounds, chopping off pieces, spitting out pips and scratching each other with their sharp nails in a dire need to eat as much heart as possible. The master dragon with the fastest and largest appetite was to be crowned the winner and sole occupier of the heart.

The battle is on going, digestion is galloping, the heart is slowly disappearing, its sacred grounds are vanishing from the face of dragon earth, another catastrophe is unfolding, for once again, the power will be left alone with gaping mouths staring.

And when this war is over nothing will be left. Not a dot of the heart. Let alone ethics. Just fat stomachs and neverending greediness.
 

 

The wooden box heart.

Ten drops of chestnut oil,
first simmer, then
bring to a boil.
Three spoons of tea tree from virgin woods,
throw them in pan
stay in good mood.
Cinnamon sticks, lavender dust, rosemary leaves add in with trust.
Keep in cool place, far from sun's heat,
heart box preferred, and with a blink,
you will transform it
the dead man's meat.
 

 

The silver box heart.

Grandma used to keep her heart pills in a silver heart box.
Granpa had prostate and he had a silver box too. A silver box where he kept his own pills and which we never saw.
 

 

The fishbone heart.

Sardines. Mackerels. Trouts. Rainbow trouts. Swordfish. Yellowtail. Blacktail. Pinktail. Name it. Any fish you can think of. They all have heart shaped heads. Seafood and tentacled creatures are to be explored...
 

 

The cookie heart.

Any cookie can be dipped in a hot cup of coffee. Except this one.

If you dip this one in your coffee, it will get soft real quick and break in seconds. Tiny, crunchy pieces will ''unglue'' and  sink to the bottom of the cup. You might think of using a spoon in order to try and get the crumbled pieces on it. Afterall, the idea of hot coffee mixed with soft buttered cookie pieces (fished from your cup) in your mouth is irresistible. Like a desert. A warm cheesecake but without cheese. If you feel this is ok, then let me assure you that what you are having with your coffee is not a cookie heart but the impression of a cookie heart.

If you are up for a proper cookie heart experience and you don't want to witness your cookie get destroyed in a shitty looking lake of coffee, do this: open your mouth and form a hole ten times bigger than the hole of a straw. Push the cookie heart in the hole and give it a strong bite with your side teeth. Then quickly take a generous sip of hot coffee.

This is how a cookie heart should be enjoyed.  Good luck.

The pan hearts.

Egg fried hearts with oregano and soft salmon flakes pieces. Yum!

Drawing made by Diana.